But because we're FRIENDS ...

Second blog: March 20, 2015 10:49AM Thursday

“A friend who understand your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile.” CTTO.

I’ve said a lot of times that I had so many friends. I knew I have a lot of “BEST” friends. But I also knew they’re not the “BEST” at all. I may have knew them in a short period of time, or I may be with them for a lifetime but it is not on how long you’ve been together or how much time you’ve spend together. I believe it is on how you treat each other and how you trust one another.

Everything was fine yesterday. Normal day, as usual. Well not until we decided to go down at the 4^th floor so my friend could watch the movie properly. We seek for a room to stay and decided to stay in a room with only 1 or 2 persons. I went outside to call our other friends, who left their bags with us, to inform them that we’re on this room and their bags are with us. Then, when I get back, my friend told me:

(non-verbatim)

Friend 1: “Oh? Ambilis naman.”

Friend 2: “HAHAHAHA! Oo nga.”

Me: “Huh? Tinawagan ko sina Aesyell. Sinabi ko nandito tayo, dala natin bag nila.”

Friend 3: “Ahh. Akala namin nasa ‘BOYS’ mo na naman ikaw. HAHAHAHA!”

Well, this hurt my ego. Masakit. Yun na ba talaga tingin nila sa’kin. I don’t even have the chance to defend myself. So I just tried to keep quiet. Shut my mouth. I tried to be alone. Gusto kong may paglabasan ng sama ng loob sa kanila but I can’t. I just have to hide it inside of me because I’m always like that.

I never tried to defend myself. Hindi naman kasi ako yung lumalapit. Like the time we were already stressed because of a subject, Jc approached me and asked me if I am okay because I look sad. He was disturbing me while I am doing my work. So I asked him to sing for me but he wouldn’t. But later on, he wanted me play with him using an app called “Starmaker” I just let him sing. His voice relaxes me but it didn’t mean a thing. Hindi ko type si Jc. Same thing about Kiko, I knew every single detail about him just because he won’t stop telling me this kind of information. HINDI KO SILA TYPEEEEE. Sadyang close lang talaga kami.

Kahit lokohan lang yun, masakit pa rin para sa’kin. I never thought that the closest friends I have, they were the ones who would think that I am a person who flirts with this kind of guys. It’s not that they were bad guys or something, it’s just that they’re not on my standards. Also, I can’t have a crush on someone that my friends like. Since highschool ganun na ako. Siguro maflirt ako but I am just really friendly. HINDI AKO YUNG LUMALAPIT.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong pinaglalaban ko dito. It just came into my mind that even the ones who are closest to you can think the most negative personality you can have. It’s true that a best friend can be your worst enemy kasi they know everything about you and kaya ka nilang sirain until you’re down on your knees. Ang sa’kin lang hindi ko sila matiis. Kahit na anong galit o tampo ko sa kanila, hindi pwedeng hindi ko sila papansinin ‘cause they’re my FRIENDS and that’s what friends are for.